we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
