I must be too annoying 4 u.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
