Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
