i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
