theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
