You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
