In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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