As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
