im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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