Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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