Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
soo... how was my night?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
