So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
