Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
