it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize