i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
