Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
