I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
