I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
