I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
