hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
