Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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