i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
