I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
