I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
