I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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