So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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