Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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