she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
