went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
