What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
