How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
