You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize