If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
