I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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