So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
