Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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