i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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