Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
