don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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