It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
