Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
