Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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