So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize