I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
