Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We left the knife in your bed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
