if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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