Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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