My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
