I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There r osticjed everywhere
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
