you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
