I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
