you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize