I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
