ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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