Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
