reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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