I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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