Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
nutella sex= disaster
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
