Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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