I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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