hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
