like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
