would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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