Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
