he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
