I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
