Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
