the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
